You Stole My Heart
by Better a Freak Than A Fake
Summary: It's true that you don't thank someone for stealing your stuff but it's also true that you can't control what the heart wants as Flaky is about to find out. Who knew a simple robbery could lead to something much more preferable? LiftyXFlaky. Rated T for violence and gore (aka it HTF) and language.
1. Under the Table

**Do I really need more stories? Yes, yes I do. I need more stories because two of my solo stories are almost over! Plus, this was a really cute idea. This is actually my second favorite pairings though it slightly more popular than GigglesXDisco Bear... I know, the competition is real stiff.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Happy Tree Friends. All rights go to Mondo Media.**

I was wrapped in very peaceful slumber when an irritating voice rang through like a gong going off. "Come on, wake up! We've got robbing to do!" I didn't have any time to even start to wake up on my own as I was suddenly blanketed in freezing cold water.

I immediately shot up and glared at my twin. "What the fuck, Shifty?!" Looking outside, I found that it was the middle of the night, not long after returning to life. This was not uncommon; daylight heists are much riskier than moonlight.

"Oh good, you're awake," Shifty said, throwing the bucket behind him. "Well, come on." He grabbed the keys to the van. "You don't want to starve do you?"

My stomach growled, reminding me of how right he was. We hadn't eaten in days and theft was our only source of income. I might go into why later… I hate theft but it seems Shifty couldn't get enough of it. "Fine, where are we robbing today?"

"I figured it was just about time to pull one on that porcupine chick," he said with a very casual tone as we headed down from ramshackle apartment. There was no elevator so we always had to go down the stairwell. It was especially annoying when carrying safes or other heavy items.

Wait a second… "Flaky? No, not Flaky." I protested but kept following him down the stairs. "She has like a billion locks on all the doors and the windows are plastic. Not to mention her paranoia. She must be an impossibly light sleeper."

"What? You scared?" He asked tauntingly. "I'm not. We're professional thieves. We've been doing this for longer than either of us could remember. You can pick a lock in mere seconds. So no, I'm not afraid. Of Splendid maybe but not Flaky. You can't tell me you're not curious what she's hiding in there besides herself."

I had to admit. He was right. I was curious but the unknown was more dangerous than the known and she might not even have anything of value that would be worth the difficulty. Well, I was fooling myself to think I had an actual choice in the matter. I know I never had a real choice in anything. "Alright, we'll rob Flaky but I'm blaming you if this fails."

"And I'm blaming you if it fails," Shifty said as if it was part of some great secret practice. Which, it seemed it was to him. "It's what we do."

"But let me guess, if this succeeds, it was all because of you?" I asked in a playful manner. Completely knowing that's how it always works. "Just do me a favor and don't leave me for dead this time."

Shifty shrugged, taking his terrible habit as loosely as he always has, no matter how much I hated it. "Oh, quit whining. I always apologize the next day and it's not like you don't come back."

"Still, it would be nice if you showed a bit of care for your brother instead of only caring about the loot. It's not like you don't always end up dying, too and losing the loot," I reminded with a low growl. His priorities when things went wrong, which was all the time, were the worst thing about Shifty and that was saying a lot. There are many things to hate about him.

"That's not my fault; it's the curse's." Shifty shrugged, acting as if that made it all okay. Which it obviously didn't. "I'm not going to argue about this. We both agreed a long time ago that the worst way to die is starvation. I can't risk losing our loot over such a temporary life."

"I would never abandon you, Shifty. No matter how bad things have gotten, I always made sure you made it out or I didn't." We arrived at the bottom floor without another word from Shifty. "I don't see why you can't do the same for me." There still was no response from him. "Well, answer me."

"I said I wasn't gonna argue about this." Shifty stated, in a matter-of-factory tone as we headed out to the van. "But if you really want me to, then fine, that just makes you an idiot."

"Wanting a response makes me an idiot?"

"No, always making sure that I make it out instead of focusing on getting the loot and trying to get at least one of us out."

"So, that's the thanks I get for trying to save your life?"

"That's the thanks I get for trying to keep us fed?" He shot back, turned back and glaring at me while walking backwards when I should really be the one glaring at him. In fact, I was. "Look, I only have our best interests at heart."

"I doubt you seem to only do it to be greedy." I said, trying to drill into him with my gaze just as he was me.

"Well, I'm not. I just don't want to starve to death again and I know you don't either. Now, can we just drop this?"

I sighed. Only getting frustrated with his 'logic' but I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere in this argument. Shifty was more stubborn than anyone else I had seen. As we got into the van, I caved. "Fine, I'll drop this but I'm still right."

"Whatever." Shifty rolled his eyes, starting the van. "Now, where's Flaky's house?"

"I thought you knew." I looked at him trying to find out if he was being serious, which he seemed to be. "You mean to tell me you planned on robbing a place that you don't even know where it is."

"It was not my job. We never robbed her before. It didn't seem fair. I figured you knew. You know where everyone else lives."

"But I…" I hesitated but admitted, not wanting to waste much more time before morning. "Yes, I know where Flaky lives but then I'm driving. I'm not going to lead you all the way there."

"No way, I always drive!"

"I drive or we're not robbing Flaky." I said, getting as stubborn as he always is. I hoped I could win this time and I surprisingly did as he growled and got out of the car heading around so I did the same, getting into the driver's seat.

"Just don't get to comfortable with this," he said, leaning back in the seat and draping his fedora over his eyes, clearly planning on taking a nap on the way over to her house and I wished I had some water to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Oh no, that does not mean that you get to take a nap. It's your fault that we're awake at this time at all." I reminded as I pulled out of the apartment parking lot and headed towards Flaky's house.

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to drive." He brushed off, wearing our signature grin but I didn't like seeing it against myself.

"And you're the one who wanted to go thieve tonight. I was all for sleeping in." I reminded, flashing our grin back. "And you're probably gonna want to drive back and you can't do that if you don't know how we got there."

"Nah, you can drive on the way back, too."

I sighed and kept driving, but growled when he started snoring. It wasn't long before we arrived and I shoved him back into the door. "Come on, wake up. We've got robbing to do." I mimicked exactly what he said to me when he woke me up, wishing again that I had some water to dump on him.

"Okay, I'm up. I'm up." Shifty woke, rubbing his side from the collision with the door, but he got over it soon.

We both got out of the car and each got a sack and I got my lock pick tool. "So, once we get in, I'll clean out the kitchen while you search for valuables?" Shifty suggested.

"Sound like a plan," I agreed as I headed over to the front door and set to work on the locks. I was obviously exaggerated when I first said how much there were, but there was still a high amount.

Still, I was able to make short work of the locks and we headed in without making a peep. Shifty headed to the kitchen as we agreed on and I set to the living room, knowing that's where most people keep the most expensive stuff and found a television which I unhooked and, with some struggle, carried it out to the van.

I came back in looking for anything else, but we didn't last much longer as I suddenly heard the phone ring, followed by a voice from upstairs. "Hello? No, Cuddles, I already told you that I don't want to go to the amusement park tomorrow."

There were a few seconds of silence followed by, "Never! I don't ever want to go to the amusement park."

I snuck into the kitchen to find that Shifty had stopped loading up the food and was listening into the conversation as well. "I thought she was supposed to be asleep." I whispered harshly to Shifty.

"I think she was. Cuddles must have woken her up." He whispered back.

"Hold on, Cuddles. I think I hear someone," Flaky suddenly said and I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit!

We both tried to sneak out the front door, but Flaky beat us to it. Something looked off about her. Her eyelids were really droopy and her fur was very ruffled. She was also hanging onto the banister and seemed like she would fall over if she wasn't. We both froze but she just looked confused, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. "What are you guys doing in my house?"

I wasn't sure what to say as Shifty just adjusted the bag of food he was carrying; it was pretty obvious what we were doing in her house. "What time is…" She looked over at the clock as if there was any time it would be acceptable for us to be in her house. "It's four o'clock in the morning." It was actually three… "What are you even doing awake?"

We didn't answer. I don't know why Shifty didn't, but I was just really confused why she was so confused by this. Sure, we never robbed her before, but she should at least know our reputation. "We could ask you the same thing," I said, not sure what else to say in this weird situation.

She looked to be in thought and sat down on the step. I wasn't sure what she was even thinking about, but neither of us moved to leave. This whole situation was just too interesting.

Without warning, she picked up a candle from a nearby end table and chucked it at Shifty's head. He managed to duck just in time, so close that it took off his hat. "Get out of my house!" She picked up the stand the candle was on and held it ready to throw as well. "Get out of my house or I'll scream! And I can scream really loud; it will probably attract Splendid."

Not needing to hear anymore, we ran out of the house and back to the van, hearing the stand clang against the wall on the way out. She actually threw it while we were already on our way out.

Once we were inside the van, Shifty burst out laughing. "Man, she is weird when she's drunk."

"Drunk?" I asked as Shifty threw the bag of food into the back. I tested the idea in my mind but just couldn't picture her getting drunk. "Sure, she was acting pretty crazy, but I don't think she was drunk. There must be some other explanation."

"Oh, no, I spotted an empty bottle of whiskey in the top of her recycling bin, she was definitely drunk." He said once calmed down enough to have a normal conversation. That did explain a lot, but it was still surprising to think she would drink at all, much less get as drunk as she must have been. "Come on, Lift, it's not all that surprising."

I guess that was true, we've found alcohol in almost everyone's house. I guess it was their way of coping with the dark reality of "life" in this town. Still, something about it just didn't fit well with Flaky. "You didn't take any of her alcohol did you?"

"Of course not." Shifty laughed. "That shit's addictive as hell. I'd never touch that stuff and you don't either do you?"

"No, I would never either," I agreed honestly. When we're too poor to even afford a loaf of bread, we could never afford to become addicted to any kind of substance, so we avoid everything addictive. Though, sometimes I swear Shifty's addicted to stealing. Okay… maybe I am too…

"So, did you still manage to nab anything?" Shifty asked once we pulled into the apartment parking lot.

"Yeah, I got her TV." I answered, feeling a bit proud of myself for getting that before the phone rang, but regretting what that meant. "I really wish the back of our van closed. Then we could just leave it locked down here instead of having to carry it all the way upstairs, just to carry it down in the morning."

"Well, you're the van expert." Shifty reminded, getting the bag from the back and then helping me with the TV set. "If you really want it fixed, then you're gonna have to fix it, because I can't."

"Right, because you don't even know that cars need wheels." I reminded, thinking back to the race car he built years back to win that hefty grand prize.

He sent a glare to me as we headed back upstairs with the behemoth. This is why we will never have to go to a gym; theft was more than enough of a workout every day to keep us fit.

Once we made it upstairs, we placed the TV right inside our apartment and ripped open the food sack as if we'd never see food again, which was very possible.

However, we knew we had to be careful to save what food we do get, so I only took and ate one roll and a bit of cheese, and Shifty didn't have much more than I. We stored away the food that we got and I was able to return to sleep without any more interruptions.

 **So, wait, I thought this was a LiftyXFlaky story? It is but I'm gonna work my way into it this time okay? Yeah, please review. They make me really happy. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.**


	2. Strike a Deal

**Not related to this story but, to anyone who hasn't seen, Happy Tree Friends will be coming out with five new episodes this December! Nothing else to say. Just read.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Happy Tree Friends. All rights go to Mondo Media.**

The next morning, I woke up on my own knowing that it was time for the second and almost more important part of a heist. The television I nabbed had really no value to us so I guess that leaves the question you may be wondering which is why I would steal something that has no value to us.

The simplest answer is that it has value to other people so now all that's left was to sell it. Use the money to pay the rent for our apartment and get that eviction notice removed from our front door for a short while and maybe even buy more food. In a perfect world, we would have more to sell but drunken Flaky had put an immediate hold on that and, as you know, Happy Tree Town is far from the perfect world.

I got off our ratty old mattress finding that Shifty was already awake and out of the room. This wasn't surprising. Shifty's always up first.

I headed out of the bedroom to find a hatless Shifty looking over the TV with careful consideration. Even though, overall, I am definitely the smarter twin, this step was Shifty's area of expertise so I normally let him handle it. "So, how much do you think we can get for the TV?"

"I'd say about forty dollars," Shifty answered, standing up and putting on his signature grin.

I couldn't believe it, forty whole dollars, plus all the food we were able to get from just one heist. That was a good haul for us. "Forty dollars? I hope you're right. That would give us just enough to finish paying off our rent for this month." I put on our signature grin as well. It was not uncommon for us to get evicted and thrown onto the streets so it was always a good feeling to see that sign removed.

"I know! And to think, if she was sober, we might not have made it out with this or the food."

I tested the idea in my head, part of it made sense but the flying candle made me think otherwise, not to mention, "If she was sober, she probably would have been asleep and we could have made it out with even more." I guess then wasn't really the time to be arguing what-ifs. "Look, just get your hat on and we'll get this down to the van so we can get it sold and move on."

"I don't have my hat." I certainly wasn't expecting that. He always had his hat. I was even surprised when I came out that he didn't have it on. "I think the candle she threw knocked it off." I knew that. "I never did pick it back up." That I didn't know or expect.

"You left your hat in Flaky's house?" I gasped, knowing exactly what that could mean and hating how casual he was talking about it. "Shifty, that can be used as evidence against us." I know, everyone knew that we were thieves but there was never enough evidence to actually nab us. It was bad enough that Flaky saw us there. She was probably too drunk to remember anything, but to actually leave physical evidence behind…

"I know. It was a mistake to leave it there but she was throwing shit at us and I didn't want to die and lose our loot again. You could have done the same if you had a hat." He reminded in a bit of a rough, defensive way. "I know it's evidence but our corpses would have been more evidence than my hat."

"We could have made it out with our lives and your hat. You could have at least tried to grab it the way you did the bag of food."

"I was more worried about the food than my hat and you should be too. Do I need to remind you when the last time we had a bite to eat before last night was? We agreed years ago that the worst way to die, even in this town, is to starve to death, so excuse me for trying to prevent that."

"I am worried about starving to death, but I'm also worried about being arrested." I reminded, thinking back to how awful prison is in Happy Tree Town with nothing to regulate Lumpy's control over anything, much less the prison.

"Then you might as well get out and live on the street because we're taking that risk every single day."

"That's not what I meant, Shifty. I don't want to give up being a thief. I know we can't afford to and I don't want to live on the streets."

"Good, then stop complaining and let's go sell a TV." Without waiting for a response, he lifted half of the TV and with a sigh I took my own half. "Good choice, Lifty. Plus it's funny when no one can tell the difference between us."

"Well, I don't think it's funny. I actually find it quite annoying." I counter, never liking being confused for my greedy and selfish brother when I'm nothing like that. I don't understand why friends can't see that. "I mean we look the same but we're so different."

"No we're practically the same person, Lift," he said, with a cocky smile as we headed down with the TV. I hate it when he calls me that nickname and I know he knows it. "You know, we're supposed to be brothers. You don't need to be ashamed to be like me." Shifty wore a shit-eating grin that almost made me want to knock out a few of his teeth. "I'm not that bad if you really think about it."

"Oh yeah, you're totally not that bad," I said with a sarcastic eye roll. "It's not like you've ever thrown me out of a hot air balloon or took my treasure leaving me in a burning submarine to die."

Shifty just shrugged it off as we made our way to the bottom of the stairwell. "So what? It's not like you didn't come back the next day. It's not like you weren't going to die no matter what I did. I died too you know."

"That doesn't make it any better." I growled as we headed out of the apartment building and to the van.

"Hey it's all the curse's fault, not mine." He laughed, loading the TV into the van and getting into the driver's seat and I got in the passenger's, getting even more upset. "Hey, just because I happen to be a weapon, doesn't make it my fault."

"It would still be nice if you would care more about me than the loot from our robberies." I grumbled, leaning back in my seat with my arms crossed over my chest.

"Well, now we're back to the conversation we had about my hat. I'm only trying to stop us from starving to death." He didn't say anything else as he drove off.

I didn't have anything else to say on the matter. As much as I hated being abandoned all the time, I did hate starving to death. It really is the worst way to die.

With neither of us saying anything, the short drive to our usual alleyway was long and boring and I just watched out the window.

There honestly wasn't a single word until Shifty stopped the car at our destination. "Alright, awkward car ride aside, let's sell a TV," Shifty said, throwing open his door with an announcing clang.

I got out of my side much more quietly. Even though I didn't need to, it was more of a force of habit. During the actual heist stage, it's always important to be as quiet as possible.

Before we could even get the television out of the back, Flaky ducked into the alleyway swaying a bit on her feet, Shifty's hat in one paw, the other clutching her own head, clearly in pain but she also looked pissed. She shoved the hat into my paws. "When I told you to leave, I didn't know you already stole something."

I handed the hat to Shifty, not looking away from Flaky. I don't know what I was thinking trying to explain this to her. "Look, I don't expect you to understand why we did it but we need that TV."

Shifty agreed but in a much ruder and more insensitive tone. "Yeah, and if you want it back, you'll have to pay us forty dollars for it. We stole that TV fair and square."

"Forty dollars? You have got to be kidding me?" I was surprised when she took a step towards me instead of backing away as I would have expected her to. "No way, I'm not paying forty dollars for my own TV."

"It's not your TV anymore, Dandruff," he said in the logic we've always used but the name calling was definitely unnecessary. "Anything we steal is automatically ours until we sell it."

"No, that's not how it works. I bought that TV; you obtained it illegally." She got up in our faces and showed no sign of backing down. "I could report you to Officer Lumpy right now. In fact, I will."

I stared her in the eye and called her confidently, "You're bluffing. If you were going to turn us into the police, you would have done it when you found Shifty's hat, not returned it."

She held my gaze for a while before sighing and saying, "Fine, I'm not going to tell Officer Lumpy but I'm still not leaving until I get my TV back and I'm not paying a single cent for it."

"Well, then you're going to be here all night because we don't give anything back without our fair payment," Shifty said, though I couldn't see, I knew his own gaze wasn't wavering. "We worked just as hard for that TV as you did. We deserve that forty dollars."

Flaky looked around us, clearly at the back of the van. I knew exactly what she was planning. "Don't even think about that. We're faster than you and will stop you by any means. You wouldn't stand a chance."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I can take care of myself pretty well," she said, with a confident smile and patted the back of her head. "I also have a natural defense unless you want to be impaled trying to stop me."

"I'd rather be impaled than wind up on the streets," I said without really thinking.

"Wait, the streets?" She took a step back, looking at us weird. "How would me taking back my TV wind you up on the streets?"

Shifty elbowed me in the ribs but I settled for the truth seeing no other explanation. "The truth is: we're flat broke. We need that forty dollars to pay rent and get the eviction notice removed from our door."

Flaky just stood there for a while, silently and I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that I told her the truth but she reached into her back pocket and pulled out forty coins, giving them to us. "So, now can I have my TV?"

"Of course you can." Shifty pocketed the money with a grin that I matched. "It's your TV again now. No one would ever buy anything from us if we straight up ripped them off."

Flaky nodded seeming much happier as Shifty and I took the television out of the van. "So, you need held getting this to your car?"

"Umm…" Flaky rubbed the back of her head. I wondered how she did so without cutting her hands on her quills. "Actually, I walked over here."

"You walked?" I raised an eyebrow and she hung her head, clearly ashamed. "How did you expect to get the TV all the way home?"

"Well… I expected to… carry it…" She was getting more and more nervous with every word. "I just… I don't like driving. I'll do it if it's too far but I avoid it as much as possible."

"Hmm… it seems this was one of the times you needed the car though, that TV's about two-hundred pounds." I thought about it, thought about the risks from Shifty before offering, "We could take you and the TV to your house in the van."

To my luck, the only thing Shifty had to cut in on the matter was, "For another five dollars, of course." Obviously, I expected that if he agreed to give the ride at all. He never does anything for free and I can't say I disagree with it.

Flaky, however, was not all for the idea. "No, I can handle it myself." She went to the TV and was actually able to pick it up but not without great struggle and it was obvious that she wasn't going to be carrying it anywhere. She clearly realized this too and set down to set with a sigh and pulled out five more coins, handing them to us. "Fine, I'll take the ride."

* * *

And that's how the three of us wound up sandwiched into the van, driving towards Flaky's house. There was no back seat and Flaky insisted that the back was two dangerous, which I had to agree so we all had to ride in the front, which wasn't made for three people.

I was nervous being so close to her quills but there was something I couldn't explain about being so close to _her._ Her eyes were transfixed on the dashboard, her paws on each side of her, and I couldn't read her face at all. Still, knowing here, I had a guess what was going through her head. "You scared?"

"I'm always scared," she whispered in a weak voice that I might have missed if my ears weren't so attuned to every little noise, her eyes not leaving the dashboard. "I'm just a worthless coward."

"You could have fooled me," I stated, actually getting to look at me with a curious gleam. "From what I've seen and heard, you can do some very brave things when you need to protect yourself or someone else. I don't think bravery is never being afraid; it's being afraid and doing it anyways. So, I think you're very brave." I shrugged and added, "Even then, you have every reason to be afraid."

Flaky smiled at that, but a nervous glimmer of a smile but a genuine smile that I was glad to be able to get out of her. "No one's ever called me brave before."

"Well, I only said it because I believe it." We weren't able to say anything else on the matter as Shifty parked the car in front of Flaky's house. "So, now do you need help getting the TV into your house?" I offered, getting out of the van so she can get out at least.

"No, I can get it from here," she insisted, getting out of the van and going to the back with an air of confidence. Probably refusing the help because she doesn't want to intentionally let us into her house.

As I got back in the van, we were surprised when she came around, carrying the television alone. "Wow, she really is strong. Not as strong as us but incredibly strong nonetheless."

"Extremely," Shifty agreed and even though I couldn't see him as I was still looking at Flaky as she undid her locks, I can imagine he was nodding. Then I imagine he took on a smirk. "So, what was all that between you two about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied, feeling my face go hot. I hoped he was still as stupid as ever and would accept that as an answer with no further questions.


	3. Can You Top That?

**Reminder! This is the 1950's! Carry on.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Happy Tree Friends or any of the characters, all rights go to Mondo Media.**

I just couldn't get her off my mind. I didn't know why. We've known each other since even before the Happy Tree Curse started. Sure, we were never close, I would never call us friends but we had seen each other and I never felt this way before. I wish I could give more detail about what I was feeling but I can't because I don't even know myself.

And why does this van smell more like blood than it normally does?

I looked around for the source, first checking to make sure that Shifty was still alive, which he was and didn't even have a scratch on him. Finally I spotted some blood on my leg. Feeling around that area though, I didn't find any kind of injury. So, where did the blood come from? I didn't have an explanation but shrugged it off, reminding myself that it's Happy Tree Town. The blood could have come from any number of places or friends.

Still… "Hey Shifty." I wasn't sure I had my twin's attention but decided to move on as if he was. "This may sound random but are you injured? I only ask because there's blood on my leg and it's not mine."

Shifty looked himself over, no longer paying attention to the road, before shrugging and answering. "No, the blood isn't mine." He turned back to the road just in time to swerve out of the way of Mole's car, appearing to think something over before turning to me and suggesting. "Maybe it's Flaky's blood."

Before I had time to respond, the van smashed into a light pole and I splattered against the windshield. I could only assume Shifty did too but I'm going to assume you already know that wasn't the know all, end all for either of us. Not by a long shot.

* * *

In fact, at exactly midnight the next morning, a time transition that felt like less than a second to us, I came back to life, in perfect state, sitting on the dashboard of the repaired van. I got down from the dashboard and looked around, wondering where Shifty was and if he might have survived the crash.

That was until I stopped him sitting on the sidewalk, seeming to be looking for me as well. He didn't survive the crash; he was ejected. "I'm here," I told him, opening the car door get his attention.

Shifty looked over and got up from the sidewalk and getting back in the van, leaning the seat back. "Ah, this is a much comfier place to sleep."

I raised an eyebrow at that. Certainly not complaining but still surprised. I leaned my own seat back with a grin. I do enjoy nights we actually get to sleep at the normal time.

Before I fell asleep though, another thought entered my brain, about the blood that was on my leg and Shifty's comment about the blood maybe being Flaky's. She didn't look injured but it's hard to tell against her unique fur.

I also remembered wondering how she rubbed the back of her head without cutting her hand and how her hands were next to her the whole time. It was very possible that she _did_ cut her hand doing that and just didn't flinch because, like almost everyone in town, she was used to much worse pain.

Why do I care so much?

I sighed, having no answer and adjusted my position in the seat, settling down for some real shut eye.

* * *

It was still dark when Shifty started shaking me awake. "Lift, wake up!" There he went again using that nickname for me. I opened my eyes to glare at him and he said, more quietly, "I just had an idea for another heist."

I put back up my seat and gave him my attention. "You're ideas never end well, Shifty…" I complained with a groan. If we have to keep stealing, he could at least let me decide where we're robbing every once in a while.

"The ones you come up with never end well either." Okay, so he has let me a few times. "That's because of the curse, not because it's not a good idea." That's debatable. "Besides this is somewhere we've never robbed before."

That caught my attention. I thought there wasn't any place in town we hadn't robbed now that we finally hit Flaky's house… well, everywhere but, "If you say Splendid's fortress, I'm knocking you out and driving off without you." Would I put such an idea beyond him? Absolutely not.

"No, of course not Splendid's fortress. How stupid do you think I am?" Very. "No, I was thinking the liquor store. To sell of course."

I had to admit, that actually was a very good idea. Something I don't admit very often. "That's perfect. This town is full of alcoholics and if we hold onto all of the alcohol until they start experiencing withdrawal." I had no idea how long that would take. "And then we can sell it back to them for basically any amount we want."

"Um… yeah… that's exactly what I was thinking…" Shifty said awkwardly, as he started the car and started to drive. "Luckily, I had spotted the liquor store a few times when we went out."

"And you remember where it is?" I asked, with a raised eyebrow and a slight laugh. It certainly wouldn't be the first time something like that happened with him.

Shifty growled, driving off and answered a mocking tone, elbowing me, though not hard enough to do any actual damage beyond a bruise, "Yes, I remember where it is. I wouldn't have brought it up if I didn't remember where it was."

I rolled my eyes at the blatantly false comment and reminded him of something that happened only yesterday. "You mean like how you knew where Flaky's house was when it was your idea to rob her?"

Shifty groaned and, always unwilling to give up on anything, stated, "I didn't say I knew where that was though and I'm saying I know where this is."

"Like you knew where our van was back at the gas station in Canada?" I reminded, still surprised we actually _got away_ with Handy's car instead. "How did you lose it anyways?"

"Hey, it's not that hard to forget where you parked in Canada. There are so many other cars there compared to here in Happy Tree." Shifty reminded in logic that I was surprised to find was difficult to argue against. "At least we still get the van back… somehow." Neither of us knew how we did get the van back but it was outside the apartment when we came back to life the next day. "Besides, that's completely different."

Not long after, he pulled into the back of what I hoped really was the liquor store and turned to me with a mocking smile. "See, I told you I remembered where the liquor store was."

I returned the grin and told him, getting out of the van. "I'll believe it when I see the inside." He got out of the van as well and met me in front of the back entrance. Unfortunately, the store was most likely open at this time so we had to be extra careful. "Do you know who's working it today?" I asked.

Usually we check that in the paper before robbing a business but this time Shifty shook his head. "I had just came up with the idea and the place would be busy if we waited much longer."

"It's still important to…" I sighed and started picking the lock. "I guess we'll have to assume the worst then." I stated with an eye roll, pushing open the back door. "Now remember, don't leave a single bottle."

"Like we ever leave anything behind anyway," Shifty laughed quietly and we headed in, without making a single peep.

The backroom was lined with more merchandise than any other store in town. Not that it should have come as much of a surprise but we'd definitely have to make more than a few trips to get it all. If only we still had that dump truck we stole to get the candy for Nutty.

Once we made it in, Shifty made his way over to the door that connects the back to the front and took a careful look through the small window, probably for the same reason we normally check the paper. He turned to me and put one flat hand against his mouth. Giggles. We had a silent code to mean every friend to use as warnings to each other while robbing a business. So, Giggles is working. That's not the best but definitely not the worst either.

* * *

Even with our experience, it took multiple hours to get most of the van-fulls back to the apartment building. Just as the last one of the backroom was loaded up, we ended up having to load some in the front as well. This left me back at the store to wait.

As I waited, I did hear the front door open but reminded myself that, unlike in a house, he won't be coming back here but Giggles might if he needs something that isn't in stock.

Because of that, I hid behind one of the racks that used to be full of liquor but I knew that if she comes back and finds the back empty, she's going to be looking to see if the thief's still there. My only hope was that she didn't come back at all.

Of course, luck never being on our side, the door to the back opened followed by an immediate, "Oh, what the fuck?" Except it wasn't in Giggles voice, it was much meeker and had a slight stammer. I thought she shouldn't even be back here when not working.

"What is it, Flaky?" Giggles voice called from the front of the store but stayed put, probably figuring that almost anything could scare her.

"Um…" I wasn't sure why Flaky was hesitating instead of just telling her that everything was gone. "Nothing of your business." Again, it made no sense. What is she trying to do by not reporting the obvious crime? Whatever her reason, footsteps lead further into the backroom. "I can see you, Lifty," she said in a quiet voice, as if trying not to alert Giggles of my presence. "Come out of hiding."

I was unconvinced she saw me so I didn't come out right away but when I glanced through the rack, I saw her looking patiently right through it. I sighed and came out. "Why?" I asked simply.

Flaky sighed and headed out the backdoor we entered through and motioned me to follow her, which I did, finding it better than the alternative.

Once we were out in the beading summer sun, I turned to Flaky. "Why?" I repeated, desperately. "Why didn't you tell Giggles?"

"Well, first of all, let me go out and say that no matter how much you need to money, robbing the liquor store is taking it _way_ too far." Okay, she was supposed to be answering my question, not making it more confusing. "But, if you just give me a fifth of my whiskey for the normal price of ten dollars and I won't tell anyone I found you in the backroom. Deal?"

I couldn't believe it and that was still a LOT of money. "Wait, what's a fifth mean in this context? Also, which one is your whiskey?" For such a small town, we had quite a few different whiskeys and I couldn't imagine which one could cost ten whole dollars but figured she was asking for more than one bottle.

Flaky laughed a bit and told me, "Here, I'll show you which one. Just lead the way."

She's coming to our apartment? No one else has ever been in our apartment before and it's certainly not something we want to go around showing off but we're not exactly ashamed of it either so I led the way, hearing her footsteps following behind me.

We started off walking until I heard Giggles shout, "My tequila!" Then, without needed any exchange, we both broke into a full on run.

* * *

I was surprised that she was able to stay not very far behind me and maintained that speed until we were right in front Shifty and I's apartment door. I grinned seeing that the wood of our door was bare and pushed the door open, almost running into Shifty who was on the way out.

"I thought I told you to wait…" Shifty trailed off his lecture, noticing Flaky standing beside me. "What's she doing here?"

"She wants to buy some whiskey…" I answered, earning a clueless look from Shifty, not that I really expected anything else. "It's a type of alcohol."

"We only sell in the alleyway," Shifty said, leaning against the doorframe and gave a light laugh. "You know that, Lifty. So, what were you thinking bringing her over here? She can wait until we go sell in the alley tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning!" Flaky gasped in surprising horror. "That's the work of a sadist there! You realize withdrawals can start after five hours without a drink! I'm sure you both have experienced that before."

"No, we haven't. We've gone our whole immortalities without a single drink." Shifty answered simply and truthfully. "But if that's true, we'll be in the alley in _six_ hours. So scram."

Flaky sighed and shook her head. "No, I'm not settling for that. I was hoping not to go here but I found Lifty in the empty backroom of the liquor store. I'll provide an eyewitness account for both that and burglarizing my house to Officer Lumpy and have you both thrown in jail, possibly forever, if you don't sell me some of my special whiskey. I'm not even asking for it for free. I'll pay ten dollars for it."

"Ten dollars?" Shifty's eyes widened and he stepped aside to let her in. "Why didn't you just say so? Pick out whichever whiktey you want."

I couldn't help but laugh a little about his mispronunciation as Flaky headed in and I followed her in curiosity, just having to know what kind of and how much alcohol could cost so much money.

When I got inside, I found that almost the whole apartment was covered in liquor bottles. "Umm… Shifty… where are we supposed to sleep?"

"Oh, how cute," Shifty laughed. "You think we're gonna survive to sleep anywhere but the van or some random spot on the street." I guess he did have a very good point there. "Besides, just in case, I did make sure to leave the mattress bare."

"Alright, found my whiskey!" Flaky announced, coming back with, surprisingly, one bottle of whiskey that was probably about a fifth a gallon. She reached into her pocket and procured ten dollar coins, just as promised. "Well, I guess I should be going now."


End file.
